Who you gonna call? Thief strikes thrice

SIGN: The stolen Yes sign after the paint attack
SIGN: The stolen Yes sign after the paint attack

Ballater Scottish nationalist and independence supporter Francis Duguid has just about had enough of whoever (or whatever) has been stealing his Yes signs.

An individual, (or group) unknown, has succumbed to a bad case of election fever and have begun harbouring delusions that they are a paranormal entity dubbing themselves ‘a ghost from the hills’ in a poorly written but intimidating letter left following the theft of Mr Duguid’s third ‘Yes’ sign last week.

During the referendum campaign, The British Telecom Project Co-ordinator had two ‘Yes’ signs stolen from his Tulloch House private property and took steps to secure the third with a motorcycle chain.

Following a half baked attempt at spray painting the white ‘Yes’ sign black, Mr Duguid was about to take steps to secure it further.

Upon discovering his £30 sign had gone, the frustrated Deesider also found he had been left a written warning.

Highlights from the letter of intimidation read: “To Mr. Yes Sign man...I’am [sic] the Destroyer [sic] of Scottish Nationalism. I’m the protector of Ballatar [sic]... So be this a warning [sic]...I am a ghost sent from the hills..[sic] to stalk those who dare challenge me...It’s to [sic] easy. (Signed) Your enemy...”

A spokesperson for Police Scotland said: “I can confirm that we’re aware of the theft of a sign and are investigating. Anyone with information is encouraged to contact Police Scotland on 101.

“Police Scotland supports the right to freedom of expression and lawful expression of political beliefs; where the law is breached and a criminal offence has taken place, the circumstances will be thoroughly investigated, reported to the Crown Office Procurator Fiscal Service and those responsible held to account.”

Mr Duguid said: “It’s a wee bit rich the thief‘s claim to be the “protector of Ballatar” when he, she or it canna even spell the village name!

“I wonder if the person is aware that I’m the 4th generation Duguid in the village with past relatives not only instrumental in the building of Ballater but also holding the Provost and Baillie posts in different eras, probably no.

“I’m a little bit wary now because I feel my collection of vintage motorcycles may be at risk.

“But I have a copy of the silver bullet which killed the lone ranger... I’m sure it’ll see off a ghost.”

Councillor Geva Blackett said: “Everyone is entitled to their political and ideological opinion and the vandalism or theft of property is to be abhorred from whichever side of the political divide one is on. For the perpetrator to claim in an anonymous letter to be the voice of Ballater is rather curious as anonymity does not sit well with speaking with any degree of authority for a community.”

The Piper welcomes a legible letter of reply from the hill-based spectre.